Monday, January 30, 2006

The Teams - My Initial Thoughts

Lake and Michelle
Hmm. Nothing strikes me as particularly interesting about this team at the outset--just your usual mid-30s (I'm guessing) happily married couple. I do like the fact that Michelle is a stay-at-home mother of three who works part time at Lake's dental practice. Um, hello? If you work part time at a dental office doesn't that mean you're not a stay at home mom? It's noted that Lake (and seriously, what kind of a name is that? And this is coming from someone named Allegra Lingo) is a type-A personality, and his wife hopes that won't cause problems. While I recognize that type-A personalities are important in competition, let's hope they don't turn into another Type-A racer that we all have come to loathe.

Danielle and Dani
Oh, good lord. I didn't realize that CBS was suddenly trying to attact male 18 - 34 viewers. Not only do they have similar names, similar really bad hair dye jobs, and hideous tank tops, they say their "armed" with bold personalities and fearless attitudes (I'd also say they're armed with something else, too, but that's just me). I also find it amusing that they're going to use their "thick accents" to win them the $1 million prize. This team is now officially named Team Nip and Tuck in my book. Maybe we have another team Heave on our hands--and I actually found them quite funny, so maybe N 'n' T will do okay. If there's a donkey cart around, I will personally cheer for these dudes to do that detour option.

BJ and Tyler
And, in the wake of wacky dude casting that brought us the likes of Kevin and Drew, Kenny and Gerard, and John and Al, come BJ and Tyler! I always like this dynamic, and they tend to do well. But these guys are a little out there. Tyler walked the length of Japan to impress a girl? Cooking dinner? I understand that. Shaving off the scruffy beard? That would make sense, too. But walking 2,000 miles? That's, um, strange. And since they list their favorite memory as starting a street dance party with "hundreds of Chinese men", I think we have the potential for some very entertaining international incidents from these two.

Ray and Yolanda
You know, the most interesting thing about this due is that Ray is also my grandpa's name. Huh. This looks like what would happen if Hera and Lenny ran the race together. I'm yawning already.

John and Scott
Okay, I'm naming this team "Team Brokeback Mountain circa 1983". They've been friends for 25 years, both single, they vacation to Provincetown, and John admits that he's controlling (and also lists his greatest accomplishment as renovating a brownstone and doing an AIDS ride). I'm just saying. John also has a fear of flying and hasn't been on a plane in eight years. We'll see. I'm not so sure I'm on the love-train for these two yet.

David and Lori
Aw, midwestern nerds! From Manhattan, Kansas! I love it. Lori works at Pizza Hut and David is in a bunch of bands. While true that they have the build of a young Debra and Steve, they might just be geeky enough to pull a Gary and Dave on us. Only time will tell.

Eric and Jeremy
Or, as this team screams to me, "Team Brokeback Mountain circa 1963". They work, respectively, as a valet and a waiter?! In any case, we have another alpha male team on our hands in the strong tradition of past winners Rob & Brennan, Chris & Alex, and Chip & Reichen. They will probably go far--I just hope they're interesting.

Fran and Barry
Here is the prerequisite "older team". Now, they do look promising--they've traveled to 45 different countries, Fran has climbed all 54 of Colorado's 14ers, and Barry's biggest disappointment in Fran is that, while in New Zealand, Fran wouldn't bungee jump. And that's not something that should be held against anybody. At least in my pansy-ass opinion. But the line at the end that "they want to show that older people can compete with 25 year olds". Yeah. Like that's worked well for any older team in the past (and there's been one every season, hasn't there?). As long as Fran doesn't repeatedly screen "Baaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrryyyyy!" like some other old timer I can remember, I kinda dig them.

Lisa and Joni
Okay, story time: when I was in Texas last month on my way to go on a cruise, I was at a steakhouse (big surprise, that'd I'd find myself in a steakhouse in Texas) and went outside for a smoke (another shocker), enjoying the high 50s weather in a t-shirt and jeans when this Texas woman came outside wearing a fur coat and said, "If they're going to make you go outside to smoke, they should at least provide you with a fire to warm yourself!" As I obviously was not having the same reaction to the quite balmy weather, she asked where I was from. I told her, she asked what I was doing in Texas, and I said I was leaving on a cruise. She asked where the ship was going, and I told her "well, Mexico, Belize, and Honduras". She thought for a moment (I think this was very hard for her), and said, "Wait, did you have to get a passport?!?!" I said, "Um, no, because I've had one since I was five." And she said, "I ain't never going nowhere that you need a passport. I saw that movie 'Not Without My Daughter' with Sally Field, and I know that if I ever went somewhere foreign they'd take a liking to me and I'd never get home!"

Lisa and Joni remind my of her. But I did crack up when I read that if they win the million they'll use it for plastic surgery. They'll give Nip / Tuck a run for their money in that respect.

Joseph and Monica
Well, the most notable thing I can find about these two is that, on the big group picture, they're wearing jeans. And I think that's kind of cool. I think the last two teams we saw wear jeans were Kevin and Drew and Nancy and Emily. And they both did quite well. And it looks like Monica's armed with a few things herself, giving Nip / Tuck yet another run for their money in that department.

Wanda and Desiree
I must admit that on the few promos I've seen for this next season, I thought these two were sisters. I stand corrected. They seem smart, mom's got two college degrees and the kid's a writer, but will they go the way of Nancy and Emily or the completely forgettable (except to race dweebs like myself) Hilary and Diedre?!

I wish the bios were more extensive. I'll have to update this when they get the team videos out on the site for some more "in-depth" analysis. But, overall, I'm liking the mix. We don't have any models (sorry, Nip / Tuck. You don't qualify). We don't have anyone that seems like they're doing this so they can go into acting (except maybe for the valet / waiter, because those wouldn't be very good lifelong careers). We've got people from all over the country, not just California. No military men. No past reality tv show stars.

It's race time. Bring it, yo.

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